No, the reason that I must cease spouting garbage about the Magpies on the internet is that I fear I have become that thing that every football fan dreads. Something so awful that your friends talk about you behind your back, tumbleweed passes before your feet as you walk alone down London Road and even the dog won’t be seen out with you. The Jinx.

 

Come on, we’ve all been there. Those 20 year old pair of lucky boxer shorts, only held together by the stubborn understains, that get fished out from the back of the drawer every Saturday morning. The same route to the match, the same pub, the same pint, the same turnstile, the same pie at 2.55pm as you take the same steps to the same seat.

 

All seems fine during that unbeaten run, doesn’t it? Then – BANG! – Like a bolt out of the blue, the weather changes and you decide to wear your ‘Wembley 1990’ bobble hat for that long trip to Southport and you’re dumped out the Cup in front of the watching public on Match of the Day.

 

The Jinx.

 

So, for the past two months in this dearest of columns, I’ve confidently stated that we’ll keep up with the front runners and insisted on nothing but the maximum points at home during December. 

 

So let’s analyse that December record in full: Played 6, Won 1, Drawn 1, Lost 4 (3 of ‘em at home!). Mother, the revolver!

 

After hauling arse over the Derbyshire Dales on Boxing Day to see another defeat starring ‘the Invisible Midfield’ at Stockport I decided not to make the fruitless and pointless trip to soulless Swindon for our last game of 2006. In the three times I’ve been there over the years, I’ve seen us lose 5-1, 3-0 and 4-0, so low & behold, we get within 12 minutes of winning and eventually succumb to a late equaliser.

 

Of course, we all know that in the grand scheme of things, one bloke sat at his computer predicting victory and glory for Notts has absolutely no bearing at all on the teams performance on the pitch.  

 

Nor does wearing the same scarf, using the same turnstile, having a ‘lucky’ driver to away matches or even - as one friend did a few seasons back –  thinking that Notts winning streak (unlikely as that seems) only came to an end when, after being 1-0 up at half-time, he zipped up his coat for the second half and we lost 2-1. 

 

Yes, you read that right, he thought that Notts losing was solely down to him being too nesh to keep a jacket unzipped for 45 minutes. Of course he kept his jacket flapping open the next match and froze his balls off (incidentally and ironically we won of course).

 

 

So what am I to do then? Do I sit here, fingers above the keyboard trying the old reverse psychology trick? Should I say that the Maggies will sell Mike Edwards and David Pipe to Fo*est for a combined fee of £5000 in the January transfer window, before losing all our games 7-0? Might the team coach run out of petrol en route to Accrington and striker Junior Mendes puts his back out helping push it to the nearest garage? Maybe I should confidently state that by the end of January, Notts will have played so badly, that even the most loyal supporter didn’t bother going to see us play at Hereford because they didn’t want to miss an interesting documentary about Haruki Murakami?

 

Not on my watch, soldier. Those routines and superstitions don’t play no tricks on the mind of this thirty-something Notts fan. We’re out of the Cup, so there are five league games to concentrate on in January boys, and anyone can beat anyone in this division, so let’s raise it a level, show some fight and get back on track.

 

Now someone be a love and pass me my lucky socks, would you?

Check out our interview with Notts Club Captain Jason Lee