Last Thursday, the airports of this country were closed, the trains were stopped and the schools were shut. Was it an earthquake? A typhoon? Another 7/7? Lupus? WAS IT LUPUS? No, it was two inches of snow.I have never seen a more ridiculous display in all my life. The snow in Notts had melted by about 3pm the same day, but that didn’t stop the drama queens in the British media from declaring their own national emergency. Most British news websites were filled with stories about the weather and the MAYHEM the DREADFUL conditions were causing. The links below are a few examples from the BBC site alone:
Look at the photos in the second one, the snow doesn’t even go above the kid’s boots. The sheer over reaction to the snow in this city makes Vancouverites look like Winipeggers.
One of the funniest things I saw yesterday was a guy pouring hot water out of his kettle onto his car to melt the ice on his windows. He wasn’t just doing the windshield, but ALL his windows. Water was pouring down the sides of his car, freezing solid shortly thereafter. A chemistry major he was not. Mate, if you are reading this right now, a good way to defrost your now frozen locks is to blow into them. A little Canadian tip from me to you.
Below is a photo of winter in Newfoundland in 2003:
THAT is a proper storm, people. It actually caused its inhabitants to miss a day or two of work. Of course, being Newfoundland, that was no different than any other week. Newfoundland is like the Liverpool of Canada.
In my home province of Alberta, the earth would have to open up and swallow a city school before it would close, and even then you would probably only get the afternoon off. When I was in Red Deer in grade four (10 years old), we were hit with three FEET of snow overnight in a blizzard. There were broken power poles and live wires lying everywhere, and we STILL had to go to school. We got to leave a few hours early, but that was only because the batteries in the emergency lights started giving out.
When I was telling people in Nottingham this story on Thursday, they would say, “Well, that’s because Canada is prepared for such things, this is a rare occurrence here.” What kind of preparation do you need for two inches of snow? If you have a broom, you are prepared.
The reason the Council gave for closing the schools was that they were worried that the kids might get hurt. What is the worst that could happen? A bruised bum? I didn’t realise British kids were made of glass. Hell, you can’t even gather a decent snowball in two inches. At the same time in Calgary, a foot of snow dropped and temperatures dipped into the -20s. The airport stayed open as usual and no kids died. One or two may have gotten a tummy ache, but I can’t confirm that.
The forecast for the next few days is another couple inches of the white stuff and the temperatures may dip down to - gasp - minus 5! I’m expecting tanks to roll down Mansfield Road and martial law to be invoked. I’m stocking up on beer and pizza just in case.
And to the dude whose lips are now frozen to the side of his car trying to blow hot air into his locks, it serves you right for not reading my column all the way to the end. Hopefully, you have kept some of that hot water in the kettle you’re holding.
When he's not taking his shoes off and sticking them in the freezer box whilst licking on an ice lolly made out of Cup-A-Soups, Rob delivers more cross-cultural insight about Notts in his extremely skill blog, Canuckistani in Limey Land.
When he's not taking his shoes off and sticking them in the freezer box whilst licking on an ice lolly made out of Cup-A-Soups, Rob delivers more cross-cultural insight about Notts in his extremely skill blog, Canuckistani in Limey Land.
A Canadian In New Basford #3
Write Commentby Deceased Feb 10, 2007, 03:40:32 pmQuickly becoming my favourite articles on the site, keep at it Rob
by robcutforth Feb 12, 2007, 07:17:33 pmthanks Jamie! It's actually quite a lot of fun to write. I enjoy bitching.
I'm glad you like it.
by Jared Feb 05, 2009, 10:37:59 amThis article seems quite relevant again...
by themilkman Feb 05, 2009, 11:29:57 amI wholeheartedly agree with this.
I have to say, though, that this type of behaviour isn't displayed by ALL of the country.
I can remember walking to school with snow up to my KNEES.
In Rothbury (Northumberland) this week they had shitloads of snow AND their gas got cut off. The gas company went round giving everyone electric heaters. Everyone plugged their heaters in at the same time, so the electricity went off.
When a local was asked by some disaster-hungry media twit if this was 'a disaster of epic proportions etc..', he replied 'No. It's winter'.
THAT'S ALL IT IS. WINTER.
There was a woman outside my house yesterday taking pictures of A FROZEN PUDDLE, that she had, no doubt, slipped upon and will be soon petitioning the council to 'rid our paths of these death ponds'.
I gave her a right nasty glare.
Rant over, apologies for distraction.
Great article.
by Lord of the Nish Feb 05, 2009, 12:43:57 pmWhen a local was asked by some disaster-hungry media twit if this was 'a disaster of epic proportions etc..', he replied 'No. It's winter'.
*applause*
by Lord of the Nish Feb 05, 2009, 02:21:03 pmMore on-the-spot CRISIS REPORTAGEQuote"I've lived in Nottingham all my life. I've seen it snow but I've never seen Bridlesmith Gate like this, with all this sludge."
OH THE HUMANITY!QuoteHobbs was open, with two members of staff, but another two, from Bingham and Top Valley, could not get in.
POLAR BEARS ARE FEASTING ON THE MEATY FLESH OF TOP VALLEY! 'TIS GOD'S REVENGE UPON US ALL!QuoteAnn Harvey, Millie's Cookies and Swarovski were all closed this morning.
DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!
by Lord of the Nish Feb 06, 2009, 01:29:52 pmIt's OK, EVERYONE! CALM DOWN!QuoteMeanwhile, shoe shops were reporting that sales of wellies were up.
One customer had run into a Nottingham store that morning and grabbed a pair of ugg boots to wear because her feet were wet.
by Metal Monkey Feb 06, 2009, 02:10:39 pmI had personally set aside �1,000 to spend in Nottingham shops this week.
As this tragedy struck, I decided to burn it to keep myself warm and thus, alive.
by Jared Feb 06, 2009, 02:41:11 pm
Borrowed from b3ta.com
by hollypolkadot Jan 07, 2010, 09:26:46 amLove this article..I used to live in Austria and it's full-on snowy for about 5 months of the year there. People there just get on with it, I wish we could do the same!
