So, by September 1st, your team have played four and drawn four of their league games in what is, quite frankly, a rubbish division. Plus, on each occasion, like an aging actor in a grainy porn flick, they’ve come from behind each time. Quite when Notts are going to flip their opposition onto their back and give them a right good seeing-to remains the question on everyone’s lips (no pun intended).

One thing that remains glaringly obvious to all of the Meadow lane faithful is where the goals are going to come from. Last season Jason Lee bagged 15 plus by intimidating the opposition and doing what he has always done best – making a right bleddy nuisance of himself.

And on Saturdays evidence, when Thommo decided to pump long balls up to the starting front two of Andy Parkinson and Hector Sam against Morecambe, that elusive rogering of the oppo might take some time yet.

All 5’7” of Parky ran around and did his best, possibly just shading the impressive Paul Mayo as man of the match. But I’m afraid the 5’9” Sam has now got a lot to do to win over the boo boys who started early on the poor fella after his 5 yard unmarked header won him miss of the decade so far.

As I said to a mate, absent from Meadow Lane so far this season, the worst player in our Thursday 5-a-side team could have nodded that beauty of a cross into la sac d’onion. As someone far older and wiser said in the When Saturday Comes preview, we have the nucleus of a good side.

Defensively we looked all at sea for a very dodgy 20-minute spell against an impressive Morecambe, whose ball-to-feet and quick movement will surprise a few teams this season.

It’s quite clear we are missing the influential skipper and deserved player of last season winner Mike Edwards, cruelly out for a good few months after breaking his leg in a freak pre-season friendly accident. In midfield, Jay Smith’s nose has clearly been put out of joint by the arrival of another playmaker in the still-to-impress Neil McKenzie. Smith has spent the season so far tripping over his bottom lip, which is a shame because he needs to realise he is well liked by the vast majority of Maggies fans.

And what of Eastenders' Ricky Butcher? Four goals so far from a deep lying midfield role without actually playing particularly well.  We don’t care Ricky, just keep nodding them in mate.

Yep, it’s goals and where they are going to come from that look to be the big worry at this very early stage of the season. Played 4, drawn 4, scored 5 and been knocked out the Okey Cokey Cup by Coventry.

Come on Notts, the season’s well underway - stop doggy-styling the opposition and shag ‘em senseless!

 

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