‘Tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. Or, is it the season to fall over in a spectacular fashion onto some bloody cold ice, in front of loads and loads of people? Well, folks of Nottingham, the choice is yours this Christmas as the Market Square now boasts a festive ice rink.

What Christmastime (i.e., mid-October through to the end of December, in case you weren’t sure) seems to be lacking nowadays is fun. All the adverts suggest you should completely redecorate your house and kit it out with a telly costing over a grand, and then spend at least another £500 on each of your nearest and dearest only for them to get bored with whatever you give them within a week. Sorry, but I'm not not buying into that. Literally. I want more mad stuff like this.

Thanks to the ice rink and other such one-off events, it looks like putting up with a building site in our city centre for the last two years or so might actually have been worth it. After a summer of fun in the our newly slabbed centre, this venture has cost £350,000, and at 40m x 19m (that's about 130ft x 60ft for the purists among us) it takes up the majority of the Market Square. Despite the usual moaning in the Post, the square is actually being used as a proper city space with stuff going on that you can get involved in, as opposed to a bit more land to walk across between shopping centres. 

When I first heard about the plans for the ice rink, my mind drifted off to those twee Christmas cards of days long gone; girls with mufflers and fancy coats skating round with ribbons in their hair. A couple linking arms leaving a perfect curved groove in the ice behind them. Ahhh, that could be me… in actual fact, I lack any grace and look like I’m trying to do the robot dance whenever I’ve attempted ice-skating before.

Now don’t ask me why, but skating round in a circle for three quarters of an hour is a lot more fun than it should be. The fear of falling on your arse at any moment keeps the adrenaline levels up. When you manage to fluke it, there is something blissful about gliding along for 10 metres or so without losing your balance. With the wind in my hair, the Christmas lights on the Council House and the fountain as a backdrop, it was all quite magical.

If, on the other hand, you’d rather cut off your own fingers than rely on two thin strips of metal on your shoes to keep you upright, I guarantee you can have some fun watching other prats waving their arms and legs around in a desperate attempt to stay standing, particularly when watching with your paws wrapped around a nice glass of beer or mulled wine from the German Market. Everyone’s a winner.

What the rink lacks is actually its selling point; show off idiots. People were there to have a good time, and there was none of the ‘hilarious’ braking up against the side of the less-than-stable people’s blades that you get at the Ice Arena sometimes. The sessions are 45 minutes long, which is enough time to enjoy yourself but not quite enough time to get bored, tired and sore.

Nothing says 'I Love You' more than almost dislocating your shoulder in a failed attempt to keep your partner from crashing to their knees, so sod buying presents, get into town and have a competitions to see who can get the most bruises in under an hour. Here’s to hoping this is not just a one-off treat for us Nottinghamians.

The outdoor ice rink in the Square lasts until January 13. Then it melts, or summat. We're not quite sure.

Official website

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