Left Brian - shirt illustration by Adam Poole

Not since Neil Armstrong planted the Stars and Stripes on the moon in 1969 has so much fuss been made over a flag. Amongst all the slings and arrows flung since Nathan Tyson’s little faux pas, particularly by a certain blonde ponce, it’s been difficult to remember that other things have been going in football too. For instance...

#1 We actually beat Derby!

Before the fisticuffs, a game of football was played and the Reds came out on top. Deservedly so. Forget the two-goal comeback, it was more like a two-own-goal comeback. No doubt about the Forest goals though. I’ll get onto Majewski in a bit, but I was particularly impressed with Nathan Tyson’s goal – the move that led to it was sublime and the pacey attacker surprised me with his coolness to slot the ball past the goalkeeper. Forest could beat any opposition playing as they did in the first half.

The fact that Kris Commons was subbed off at half-time was the icing on the cake. I’m hoping that by referring to icing and cake, that smarmy traitor will stumble on this article as he Googles food on the internet. And if that doesn’t work, I’ve got a second chance of snaring him by mentioning...

#2 The Pies

Notts County have decided to pay Sol Campbell’s hospital bills, the latest development in football’s most bizarre underdog story. It’s certainly a fascinating time at Meadow Lane, promising plenty of cinematic twists and turns over the coming years. But will it be a fairytale like Fulham, or a horror story like Gretna?

Forest fans are wondering, albeit with a little wry humour, if Notts will soon come to rival the Reds. I don’t think they will ever surmount our support base (despite the dramatic appearance of black and white shirts on people who have previously never expressed an interest in local football) but they could become a fearsome rival in the transfer stakes. Some of their business dealings in Nottingham in recent weeks have had a rather ruthless streak about them.

That said, Barnet could become the richest club in the world thanks to a Middle Eastern takeover and we wouldn’t get het up about that. I think what really excites Forest fans is the idea of a renewed Nottingham rivalry. But is what scares us the prospect of them one day dominating that rivalry? For now though, everything is smiles and sunshine in the city because...

#3 The World Cup is coming to Nottingham

...or Hull, or Plymouth, or Milton Keynes. The latest I heard was that Colston Bassett was bidding to be a host city.

It would be great to have World Cup games hosted in Nottingham, but every poxy province in the country is thinking the same thing about their own particular patch. And let’s face it, as it stands we’re lagging behind our East Midlands rivals Derby and Leicester – they already have their stadiums, we don’t.

We may be a more suitable host city than most in theory, but there’s an all awful lot of Ifs and Buts to be resolved before that theory becomes reality. Showing FA executives a muddy field and some good intentions isn’t going to win us football’s most sought after contract. It all seems to me like a lot of fuss over what is essentially three matches of football. It would be good for Nottingham if we got to stage some of the World Cup, but it would be even better for the city’s beleaguered council, would it not? I can’t help thinking this whole World Cup business is just bells and whistles to keep us distracted from some of the more pressing issues facing Nottingham in the next decade. But, whatever happens...

#4 We’re probably going to get a new stadium anyway

Mark Arthur says that “after exhaustive studies of the existing City Ground” it has been deemed “impossible” to bring it up to FIFA standards. I think this also means they’ve decided it’s impossible to bring it up to the Forest’s board’s standards too.

Like the City Council, the club seem to be hiding behind the smoke screen of the World Cup bid. The fact that they want to move to a new ground has long been known, but the 2018 hype provides them with a large dollop of sugar with which to sweeten that most bitter of cups – leaving the spiritual home of Nottingham Forest.

Most Forest fans, when asked if they want to exchange the City Ground for a new stadium, will say No. But, ask them if they’d like the World Cup to be hosted in Nottingham and the answer will be Yes. Catch 22. If Forest upping sticks to the sticks in inexorable, what concerns me the most (and I’ve raised this point before) is the ineptitude of the parties involved. This week the City Council made a big song and dance about a new stadium site in Gamston, only to be told the land isn’t for sale the following day. Doh! Not the best of starts, eh fellas? And you wonder why I have qualms about your ability to actually deliver the facilities you promise. Speaking of not getting what you want...

#5 Forest still need defenders

Billy Davies must have known his luck was out when Calum Davenport, the latest in a long line of Forest targets, was stabbed in the legs. It’s like a 1970s comedy where the hapless protagonist never tastes success because a series of incidents, each one more bizarre than the last, thwart his efforts.

Poor old Billy did well on the transfer market this summer, but his carefully built house of cards is looking wobbly because of its foundations. But everybody in this hemisphere knows Forest need to strengthen in defence and it’s no wonder the manager gets exasperated every time he’s asked about the problem. The good news is that attention is being focussed on the backline because we’re so strong in other positions. Even if we don’t get a top quality defender in on loan, we should have enough firepower and creativity to keep us out of trouble. As Billy stated in pre-season, this year isn’t the year. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Even without more defensive strength it’s still promising to be a good one. The only problem is that...

#6 Billy Davies and David Pleat could be heading for a bust-up!

Confusion about Pleat’s role at the club has been building since before Davies’ appointment, but it escalated a few weeks ago when the club started circulating stories about how Pleat would have more time to concentrate on his consultancy role now all sport has been taken away from ITV (for the good of everyone).

This sounds like it should be positive news, but something tells me Billy was actually quite happy to have Pleat distracted by media work and not concentrating on his consultancy role, if you get my drift. “I was told David now has more time on his hands. My view is that David's role or anyone's at that level is none of my business. It's something for the board to decide,” said Billy after the QPR draw in August. To me that sound like he doesn’t like it, but he’s going to lump it. And that’s a good thing because at the moment...

#7 We’re on good form
 
The season started in stuttering fashion but in our last three games we’ve beaten two formidable teams and taken a point from another. The Watford home game aside, Forest have shown increasingly encouraging flashes of great football and this culminated in pleasing wins over Middlesbrough and Derby. It’s a shame the international break has halted our progress, but September offers a decidedly kinder run-in than August so there’s no reason why we shouldn’t end the month with a healthy stock of points.

We’re also seeing some emerging stars, such as the aforementioned Radoslaw Majewski who has adjusted to English football very quickly. Also adjusting quickly are Dele Adebola and David McGoldrick who seem to be our most compatible strike partnership on the evidence presented so far, Paul McKenna who gives lessons on how to lead a team by example, and Nathan Tyson who is flourishing in his new(ish) wide position. We have a few injury problems to deal with, but the good news on that front is...

#8 The Moose is coming back

Julian Bennett too. I’m not sure how easy these two players will find coming back into the side, but the more fit players we have – and particularly those who can benefit the defence – the better. The real appeal though is in their respective cult status. Strains of ‘Mooooosssseee!’ and ‘Bennett, knock ’im out!’ are sure to brighten up Forest games. They are also a pair of tough cookies who help when...

#9 We’re playing Blackburn Rovers in the cup

Okay, it’s not a Big Four side, but Blackburn are still a Premiership club. They are also a Premiership club we can beat if we play to our best and they fail to approach us with due caution. I just hope a decent crowd turn-up. The City Ground has an eerie air when half of it is closed off (and just imagine what a super stadium would be like with twice as many empty seats!). The general admission ticket price of £12 should help on this front, but can anyone explain to me the perverse logic by which it was more expensive to see Bradford City and Middlesbrough than Blackburn Rovers? At this rate we’ll draw Manchester United in the next round and it’ll be a fiver. Not that I’d complain about that. We’re only a month in and the season’s broken my bank already. At this rate I might only be able to afford to watch...

#10 Paint drying

Yes, paint drying is much more interesting than listening to the pathetic snivelling of a hypocritical, manipulative, attention-seeking, supercilious, conniving little sheep shagger. The sport will be all the better when Robbie Savage retires and we can chuck him in with Kevin Muscat and Andy Hessenthaler in the pit of scummy ‘players’ football would do well to forget.

Lost That Lovin Feeling

 

Left Brian: September