Illustration: Rob White
The Jubilee is here. Hurrah! Now, we’re not all Royalists in Nottingham, let’s be honest – but pay that no mind, because whether you give a stuff about Queenie’s sixty years on the throne, Kate’s favourite dress, or Phillip’s immense flatulence – we all have both Monday and Tuesday off. Even more than that though, our fair city is providing us with a royal feat of stuff to celebrate not being stuck in an office for the day, which is very nice of them indeed.
Although you won’t be able to visit, Nottingham Castle will be beaming a starlight beacon into the skies over our beautiful city – providing lights for the local yoofs to make their getaway after stealing some granny’s purse.
Colwick Park is holding a family funday on Sunday, with a special appearance from Peppa Pig, which will strike joy into the hearts of many of Nottingham’s munchkins. There will also be music from Nottingham music veteran Ritchie Muir, who is well worth a listen. On Sunday they will be planting a tree in celebration of good old Liz. Check the website for prices. The complimenting race fixture will feature a showing of rare photos of the Queen and highlighting her love of big stallions.
On Monday 4 June, Wollaton Hall are working in conjuction with PirateTechics (and the car show Autokarna will be doing their thing at the hall also) to set alight a bonfire beacon, which, if you saw our interview with PirateTechnics in the last issue of LeftLion, or have managed to catch them before, you’ll know that it will be a whole lot of awesome fire. The gods of hellfire will indeed be sated. There will also be music, live street theatre, fairground rides and a bar, so you can vom on the dodgems and blame it on the little kid who gets on after you.
Also on Monday is a free event – be aware that parking is a fiver, though - at the National Watersports Centre, with a fireworks display, bonfire and A POWERBOAT AND HOVERCRAFT DEMONSTRATION! There will also be music from Carmen Ghia and the Hotrods and The Red Hot Swing Band, face painting, a 1950s promenade and birds of prey. Pretty much everything you can think of for a right Royal knees-up. You can make the party last a little longer too, with a stay at the on-site campground.
Dust down those posh frocks and slap on your sparkliest diamonds as The Royal Concert Hall is lucky enough to have the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra playing on Thursday 5 July. Featuring pieces by composers such as Elgar, Haydn, Mozart and Vaughan-Williams, you know it will be a classy night of great music.
For those that do give a monkey’s about HRH, well, what a treat we have for you, because the woman herself, accompanied by Phillip, Kate and Wills will be visiting Market Square on Wednesday 13 June. There shall be some waving and tiny children will, of course, be rolled out to look cute and present the old dear with bouquets. If you aren’t so interested by that, the sheer amount of security present - there will be snipers. On roofs. And helicopters - to ensure the family’s safety will be well worth a look. Kind of a Where’s Wally but with ammunition.
Further to all of these activities there are a whole bagload of community events and street parties in an area near you. Check out the council’s website for further details, or go for a walk about, you lazy boggers.