Once upon a time, many years ago, on a cold, white Christmas eve. A cottage stood alone amongst the trees, A solitary light at the top of the cottage shone out into the night, and a peculiar noise could faintly be heard emanating from within. The noise was a bit like artificial light. Artificial light created by adding badger tails to a fire.

The badgers could be seen crawling around the woods in great pain, if only someone would come in and save them! But that would never happen. Not in these woods, for they hid a terrible secret. The secret of the haunted giant and his minions of evil owls that prowled the woods and taunted the badgers. Who will defeat said giant?

Along come our heroines of the hour! Two little girls: Holly and....Ivy..... "Look" said Ivy "A Manx Badger"
"Where?" asked Holly, "I don't see any Manx badger, besides I don't believe in them."
"Look on that tree" said Ivy "Thereby hangs another tail"

Suddenly in a puff of magic a magician appeared and said..... "You should never walk in Gooberswood after dark"   "Why?" asked Holly timidly.
"Because the wood is haunted by a manatee. You know, a sea cow.
'Now pick a card, any card" said the magician.

As Ivy reached into his deck, Holly knew something was afoot. When she drew out a massive sea horse from his pack of cards. The sea horse spoke the following:

'Neigh!' That was all it took, Holly and Ivy ran, screaming into the dense, black midst of Gooberswood. Followed by a Manatee called Elvis.

"He's gaining on us!" Holly cried, at that point there was a sharp "Crack" followed by a thud - Ivy had tripped over a root and was scrambling to get to her feet amongst the leaves. Then in came the Hurdy Gurdy Man, singing songs of love... through a megaphone made of glass and iron!

Feeling threatened by the presence of another muse in the camp, Elvis pipes up with a short burst of In the Ghetto "and his mother cried"

This distraction was a prime chance for the two girls to escape the unfolding madness, but for some reason, possibly transfixed by the sweet sweet tones of the King, they didn't, and instead they danced the night away, becoming quite adept at the art of Capoira due to the fine lessons taught by the Hurdy Gurdy Man.

"And they all lived happily ever after. the end"

"Lovely, I was gonna say baron's line had an air of finality about it, but it's got nothing on your line PJman. What's the moral of the story? The Hurdy Gurdy Man will save the day?"

"Sounds good to me. He's a thoroughly nice bloke that Hurdy Gurdy man. He used to pick mushrooms with me."

"Yeah, I know. A thoroughly decent chap, the Hurdy Gurdy Man. I often call on him in times of trouble."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to end it. Saw it more as an epic myself. Have to start a sequel. I especially liked Elvis the Manatee."

"Yeah, he's got a lot of potential for his own story, or even a series of children's books. Maybe we just finished the first chapter there. Anyone care to start Chapter 2?"

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9