Abominable Snow Man
Sasquatch, Big foot, Yeti
Abominable? No, more curious to science
Snow? No!
But the lush dense forests where the tourists rarely go.
Man? Mmm...Only as much as Peter Stringfellow
Hairy, Hairy Geezer,
Doesn't get much pizza, in the mountains,
Of Nepal, and Tibet, and no pizza delivery yet,
A charmed life you lead, free of mortgage,
In a dampened cave, no plasma television played,
Unless of course you are men dressed in cheap Gorilla suits,
Eating berries and bamboo shoots,
A nine to five Yeti, but in the evening plain old Betty,
To her other hoaxer friends,
In some plush Kashmiri Residence,
Where they cobble together the evidence,
And come morning, back to work they go,
Leaving footprints in the snow, for us to marvel and fawn at!
Well, I hope it's not like that. I hope they are for real.
I hope they first invented the wheel,
I hope they eat a healthy meal, and have not succumbed to drive through,
But in the jungle you don't need a wheel, so it's unlikely that they would do.
I couldn't picture these Hairy Geezers,
Drinking bottles of "Bacardi Breezer's".
Or text messaging other Yetis,
Watching Tele on their settees,
No my friend, not Hairy Geezer,
A simple creature, with simple needs,
Unless it is Betty and her other friends,
Destined to become some grainy photo,
Shown on some cheesy paranormal show,
On Sky One, or Discovery, I bet,
I wonder how much Betty would get?
Dressing up as a Hairy Geezer, making sure,
That somebody sees her,
Crapping in the middle of a Bamboo Jungle,
Looking very similar to Rainbow's Bungle,
But George and Zippy and Geoffrey aren't there,
Don't ask me why but they went elsewhere,
In fact close up she's more Fozzy Bear, from the Muppets,
Ah, Muppets tonite! 
So farewell hairy hoaxer,
Or possible missing link,
Whatever you are, you make life fun,
I salute you with a drink.
To Hairy Geezers!!

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