The cow stood in the field,
It seemed my fate was sealed
It was staring, this evil bovine,
Daring to give me a hard time.
This malignant and twisted moo,
Why? I hadn't a clue,
But I knew that we would fight,
This night, hoof and fist,
Kick and bite, truly such an awful sight,
As the beast and I do battle,
It's not easy punching cattle.
So I opted for a spear,
That was luckily lying near
The remains, of the last person,
To fight this cow.
(Oh shit, I'm in trouble now.)
So cornered as I was by it,
The walls behind me four foot thick,
Six feet high, (I'm going to die!
And no one will hear me scream!)
So yes cornered by a cow I was,
Who wanted a fight, all because,
The lady loves Milk Tray,
Yes, the chocolates I bought early that day,
Were made from the milk of this very cow.
It wanted revenge, and it wanted it now.
So I threw it the box that contained the cheap sweets,
Which were made with the milk that was pumped from her teats,
And for a moment I thought it had taken the bait,
As it sniffed at the box, and considered my fate,
But a shrill `moo!' it made and it decided to charge,
And the small cow in the distance got increasingly large,
As it pounded toward me, eye's flaming red,
It mooed loud and long, and filled me with dread,
I held fast with spear, but the cow kept on coming,
Anyone with sense would have considered running.=
But no, I stood there, mad bovine impending,
Making it clear that the chocolates were offending,
Then crash! We collide, and the smash sends me flying,
Making me think that the chocolates I'm buying
Really make's a big difference to the day,
And all because the cow doesn't love Milk Tray.
So, limping, and my chocolates smashed,
The horrible cow, which into me had just crashed,
Did follow behind me as I tried to depart,
It's face all sarcastic as it dared me to start
And retaliate with some cow kung fu,
But this art, only skilled experts should do,
So the cow now stalking me seemed still enraged,
When it should be on Ketamin and shoved in a cage
But this moment was delicate and was going to be dangerous,
As I dug deep for strength to escape from this strangeness,
So I picked up the pace, and I started speed walking,
Sheer dread on my face, the cow now speed stalking,
And so I started to jog, but quite slow to begin,
And I quickly looked behind me in the hope she'd given in,
But she was there, right behind me, mad steam from her
Chomping mouth,
So I went where she couldn't find me, a little cabin further south,
Yet still I had to lose this beast, so I veered off into the woods,
Mindful still of the fated chocolates, as they're classed as perishable goods.
But the demented cow had ruined them, she'd done her work too well,
And I was more concerned by the state of my self and this terrible mad cow smell.
As she'd gobbed on me, with vengeance drool,
An act I thought was sick and cruel.
But still I'd managed to shake her off,
Dressed as I was in tattered cloth,
Chocolates crushed and pushed in pocket,
As a fun day out you couldn't knock it,
Psychotic cow with chocolate envy,
Hell bent it seems in trying to kill me,
Jesus Christ I hated that day,
Mugged by a cow for a box of Milk of Tray.

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