Not only is the Nottingham Evening Post a good place to sell a used pram or write a moaning letter about the Council to, but one of its former journalists has written the best book we’ve read this year – and possibly the final word on the reign of the Godlike Brian Clough.
Duncan Hamilton’s Provided You Don’t Kiss Me is a painfully honest account of his career as the Post’s
Was it a hard book to write?
No. It was very easy once I’d started – I decided that if I could write a handful of pages, I could do a book. I started at the beginning of September 2005 and finished the first draft by December – just after the year that Brian died.
So it wasn’t a cash-in…
To be honest with you, I’d stopped writing about sport. I’d spent the last 12 years of my career desperately trying to get away from being a football writer. And now it’s gone full circle…
Did you realise when you were writing the book that it’d be so controversial?
The only thing I felt was “who on earth will want to read this?” When you’ve lived through something, it’s just commonplace. History never feels like history when you’re living through it. I suppose for a lot of people of a certain age in
Have you had any feedback from the Clough family?
I had lunch with a friend of the family, before the unveiling of the Clough statue in Middlesborough, and he spoke about Simon’s opposition to The Damned Utd. I said that writing about Clough and not mentioning alcohol is like writing Moby Dick without mentioning fish. And he said if they’re desperately opposed, I’ll tell you. And I haven’t heard anything from him. There are some things I’ve left out due to matters of taste. I didn’t want to upset anyone, but not to write the book the way I did would have been a fallacy.
You say that Clough wouldn’t have made it in today’s Premiership, but the two managers most like him are Mourinho and
Well, it’s unfair to compare the old Division One to the Premiership, as I pointed out. Clough would have been able to adapt and be relatively successful in the Premiership, but not as successful. Mourinho isn’t in charge of his entire club – Clough was. If
Doesn’t that say more about the Premiership than it does about Clough?
I think it probably does. The game is so different now both on and off the pitch. I actually went back and looked at those old European games. The second final against
You also state that Clough wouldn’t have succeeded as
Rather like most newspapers, he would read everything and claim he read nothing. I think that he knew he wasn’t going to get the job anyway, and so did the Post. The thing about successful newspaper campaigns is that you only start them when you know that you’re going to win them.
You claim that he was too politically incorrect to be
Well, I don’t believe he was a racist at all. I think he was typical of that era. For example, I saw an episode of Please Sir! recently, and a black character comes on and they’re using words like ‘Wog’ and the like. Brian never used those words. There were one or two things he said that were typical of the period, but he wasn’t racist.
What do you think of The Damned Utd?
I read it in four hours. It’s not the Clough I knew. I only recognise bits of him. But that’s not surprising, because I believe that
Did your publishers nudge you towards writing about anything in particular?
The only thing they wanted me to write more of was about bungs, because there’s not much about it in the book. I told them I could only write about what I saw, and I didn’t see much of it. There was an entire culture of bungs at the time – stories about managers and directors having their own turnstiles, transferred players taking bungs big enough to buy a house outright and so forth – but in terms of Player A going to Club B and Manager C taking a bung, I have no knowledge of it. I don’t doubt that things like that happened, though.
A lot of the reviews of the book are expressing surprise that a Post journo could be such a good writer…
I haven’t seen any of the reviews yet! I’m slightly surprised that so many people are still interested in Clough – I’ve been to readings, and there are kids there who weren’t even born when he was managing
You must have had the best job in
It never felt like it! It was a very hard job, because it was a very long season. I used to work non-stop for 48 weeks a year, from the pre-season tours to the end of the season.
You weren’t very popular amongst certain Post readers for your assertion that
Well, if you think covering football in
We can’t imagine any of Clough’s players shitting on the floors of Lace Market bars, either...
He was such a disciplinarian that you never had any problems on tours. Justin Fashinu once put his fist through a hotel door, but that was because he woke up from a nightmare, didn’t know where he was, and was terrified. Not as terrified as Viv Anderson, though – he dived under the bed…
Did you ever go on the lash with the players?
Only on preseason tours. I used to go round to Johnny Metgod’s house for dinner, and when I wrote a column with Viv Anderson, I’d always seem to ring him up when he was in bed watching videos. The players were so easy to deal with then – nowadays, I feel I’d be endlessly chasing up players and not getting interviews. I spoke to the
Who was your favourite player?
Robbo. Basically because when you saw him in the morning, it gave you hope that you could be an athlete – and then when you saw him on Saturdays, you couldn’t believe that this small, fat bloke had managed to get past a defender, whip his foot round the ball and be so accurate. I also loved to watch Trevor Francis – he used to glide across the pitch. But Robbo was more of a cult hero in his day than Psycho ever was in his. And he’s playing the Peter Taylor role to Martin’s Clough at Villa.
Did you expect so many of his players to go into management?
The one thing that surprised me was how long it took Martin O’Neill to find a decent job. It didn’t surprise me that Viv did, or Frank Clark, or Larry Lloyd. There were one or two others that I knew were going to find it difficult. Peter Shilton worked so hard at his own game and became the best goalie in the country, but he couldn’t translate it into management. The really ironic thing is that Roy Keane has got the job Clough always wanted, and I think he’ll do a brilliant job at
Do you feel the
I actually wrote a piece in the Post the week that he resigned about the Clough curse at
He left on the cusp of the Premiership, when the serious money was rolling in. If it had happened five years earlier,
Do you think that there should be a Peter Taylor statue in
I think they should do something at
It’s funny to see three cities fighting over the soul of Brian Clough.
Well,
So what did he really think of
I think he felt that
What was the weirdest conversation you had with him?
When he called me up and said “Someone’s putting it about
So why did he confide so much in you?
I think it was pure luck. I was young and malleable, in the right place at the right time, we had similar interests. Sometimes it clicks and sometimes it doesn’t. I think he saw me as a bit of a challenge.
Was Jimmy Sirrel really as bad as you claim in the book?
Oh, he was dreadful. And yes, he really did lick the top of the tomato ketchup bottle at team meals. I’d not been covering Notts very long, and after I’d written a piece about a new goalie having a half of bitter in the club bar, he went ballistic at me for ‘portraying my player as a drunkard’ and he refused to talk to me again - which was one of the best things that happened to me, because I didn’t have to work with him again. It was absolutely pointless getting a quote out of him – I remember a press conference after a match, and a journo covering the opposing club asked him if he was going to fine a player who’d been sent off. Jimmy said “It’s none of your fucking business”
So you’re saying he wouldn’t have made it in the Premiership, then.
Er, no. When I was researching the book, I rang Trevor Woodgate (the Post’s Notts correspondent in the 80s) and said “If I was to say to you the words ‘Jimmy Sirrel’, what was the first thing that came to mind?” and he said (Scottish accent) “Aw, fuck the fans”. He still goes back to
Does he?
I don’t know what it is about football managers and baths – Cloughie always used to say “I’m going for a bath now” and would disappear for an hour and a half. Anyway recently, Jimmy was in the bath at
What would Clough had said about your book if he was alive?
I think he wouldn’t have read it. Or read it and said nothing, like he always did.
And did you like him?
Oh yeah. I miss him.
Provided You Don't Kiss Me, published by Fourth Estate, is out now in hardback
Fourth Estate website
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