The Chris Needham Interview, Part 3

Yes, I did. £500 for the first screening, and £500 for the repeat, when it was on that Def 2 thing.

The only thing I really saw was the Manslaughter concert in full. And that was stunning. That was fantastic. I’m sitting there watching us play, and I’m thinking, God, we’re good. We. Are. Good. God, was I naïve!

 

The whole point is, when we get older, you forget what it’s like to have that fire coursing through your veins when you were 17. Y’know, you were playing in bands. You believed with your whole heart that you gonna be in one of the greatest Rock bands in the world. There was nothing to stop you, there was no limit to your imagination, and the world was in front of you. And I was fortunate enough – or unfortunate enough, depending on your point of view – to present myself to the world at a time when I truly believed that I was good enough to be a world-class Rock star, and that was gonna be my life. College doesn’t matter. Girls are gonna be easy and cheap, because I’ll be a Rock star, money’ll come rolling in, and…it’s just an inevitability. And you forget that feeling when you’re older.

 

Yes, it was. But what you didn’t see was that there was a full revue on that we didn’t know about. We were promised two hours rehearsal before the gig, but the school thought it was a good idea to entertain the fucking Third Year, and they wheel a fucking grand piano out. And I’m thinking, fucking hell - we’re not doing Bohemian Rhapsody, are we? We were supposed to have two hours! Nobody else! In the end, we did four songs with four different drummers – we started with We Will Rock You with Andrew – and he couldn’t get the beat right on even that – Sweet Child O’ Mine, and an AC/DC trilogy - Night Prowler, Highway To Hell, and You Shook Me All Night Long.  

 

No, it was all real. The only manufactured element, if you can call it that, was Steve giving me a target for the day’s filming. The scene where I interview those girls on the bench? Steve was with me on that day, and he suggested I pretend I was doing a survey. Other times we’d talk on the phone, and he’d say “We’ve got this tape, thank you very much – now can you do this?” But all the stuff with the band was real. It would have happened if there was a camera there or not. There were no scripts, no bollocks, no playing up to the camera other than the usual stuff that teenage kids did. When I was chatting to the camera, I was chatting to Greg, my best mate. It was real Reality TV.

 

No, I didn’t give it a second thought. The excitement of the whole thing just carried me along.

 

I wish I could have taken out the stuff that was really hurting me at the time. The bits where I was really upset, when I was in bed being a ‘moral preacher’. I still get people flaming me online about it, and they don’t know what they’re talking about. That was real. That wasn’t an affectation. I was hurting. I had a lot of problems inside of me, and they lasted a long time after the video diary, I can tell you. The video diary didn’t start them, and it didn’t finish ‘em. I was using that camera on my own as a confidant. I shouldn’t have done it, and some bits were too personal. I can look at it now, and say “You were really hurting there, Chris”.

 

 

At home, with all my family, all the band, our other mates…standing room only. We got a load of cans in, all the girls made food, and we sat and watched it. Everything else I could watch, apart from the scene with Jane, because we’d just split up and it was still raw. I wanted her back. Typical teenage pining. Everyone else in the band had a girlfriend, and I didn’t, and then the caption ‘Jane: Girlfriend’ came up with me and her on the bed, and I walked out the room. I sat on the stairs with a can of Heineken when it was 3% alcohol, and then I came back in.

 

It hurt me more than I ever knew. We all have that girl who we think is The One. I was in love. We went out for six and a half months, and when you’re 17, that’s as permanent as it gets. I thought she was The One, and now I know she wasn’t The One, and I’m glad she wasn’t The One, but at the time I was fucked. I was like the Metal version of Rob in High Fidelity – I lost the plot, the picture, the lights, the exit signs, the popcorn, everything.

 

She didn’t want to get on camera and I had to twist her arm. I was fortunate to get her on camera when I did. I’d already spoken about her, and the BBC asked for footage, so I had to. She really didn’t like it. And yeah, I do regret it a bit. It didn’t seem fair on her. Anyway, when it was done, my Mum gave me a hug and a kiss, and so did my Dad, and they said they were proud of me. My mates all thought it was hysterical, especially the Maiden Minute (the fast cuts of Chris and mates pissing about). It took them about 44 hours to do 60 seconds of TV, and the editing was so crack on. It’s brilliant!