01/04
One of the strange quirks of poultry farming is that, given enough time to completely lose it, chickens can go all cannibalistic...
01/02
Your fears of dying old and lonely will never be realised if you can learn to compromise with the birdwoman in the Market Square...
01/12
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but laziness is the primary reason for its decomposition in the middle of your living room floor...
01/10
It was my friend and mentor Hank that said ‘Love is a dog from hell’. He was right about that, but he never said how pretty it was...
01/08
The words "I love you" don’t necessarily equate with "I want to get heavy in the bedroom with you." In the case of kissing your parents this is a good thing...
01/06
If you stick your tongue out while chopping onions it will stop your eyes from watering. But you might still look like you have some issues...
01/04
"The horror of everyday life is apparent in every hour that you spend pretending to work at your desk. Over half your waking life is spent faking it"...
01/12
People talk about you behind your back. They say the lights are on, but there’s nobody home. Have you completely forgotten the Kyoto agreement?...
01/10
You have a smile that could light up the world... or at least your living room. Particularly if
you gargle a pint of paraffin with a lit match between your teeth...
01/06
You can’t make a mobile phone call from an aeroplane, but the CIA have developed voice recognition technology. A tall building does not fall down by itself and the mass media lies...
LeftLion on Facebook
ehserver