I'm not sitting on anyone's face. I'd rather have a bag of chips.
Being naked just makes things easier
Person 1: 'The doctor said to put olive oil in that ear. Turns out it was chilli oil.'
Person 2: 'Bet that hurt.'
Person 1: 'What?'
Did you know there are 37 trams? I don't know how I know that
Yeh, she left her own dad on the roof for about 5 hours
For ages i thought it was called *pizza me, sue* and no-one corrected me
Chickens love spaghetti. It looks like worms
'Oh, I didn't know! When did he die?’
'Just before the funeral.’
I'm not sitting on anyone's face. I'd rather have a bag of chips.
Mum to small child: ‘Can tell you’re my kid when ya choosing Wetherspoons over McDonalds.’
School kid to her friend: ‘We’re twins because we have the same uniform’
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