How to Do Death
08 August 18
In the UK, death tends to be awkward and unfamiliar. The logistics are dealt with behind the scenes by trained professionals, and the grieving process is viewed as something linear, after which your misery is cured. The stiff-upper-lip attitude fails to prepare us for when death taps on the door. The most honest conversation I ever had about death was with my brother, Kosta. He would get frustrated at me for being afraid of it. He thought that as much as we embrace life, we should embrace death, but that grief was a selfish and indulgent thing.Kosta died on Monday 2 March, 2015, in Rojava, Syria. He was hit by an RPG, fired by a member of the Islamic State, while fighting alongside the YPG (Kurdish Protection Unit). In the months after his death, his words stuck with me, and made me feel guilty for grieving. It’s just over three years later and I’m only just grasping what this “process” of grieving actually is; I’m working out how to come to terms with death as Kosta did, but also how to grieve as he thought I shouldn’t. This is partly down to what I’ve learnt from a collection of creative and talented people in Nottingham who are opening up the conversation about grief in their own, individual ways...
