Geek Mythology #1 - Intro

5 March 10 words: Duncan Heath
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be Batman. Or failing that, one of the bounty hunters from Critters
Geek Mythology - image by Duncan Heath

Hi. My name's Duncan. I'm 33. And I'm a geek. Or a nerd I guess, but really I can never fully remember the implications of the two. I'm thinking nerdcore entails more shut-innery and less socialising, and hey, I know a whole bunch of geeks. We're Legion.*

I guess what I'm trying to say is that what I'm doing using up your precious time is setting up for a monthly column on the odder side of culture not usually touched on by LeftLion. I reckon there's a whole bunch of fringe that we don't really cover fully, and this'll go some way toward readdressing the balance. Hopefully, you'll be curious enough to stay along for the ride.

Josie and the Pussycats
Josie and the Pussycats
Lando and Hal - clothes-swappers?
Lando and Han - clothes-swappers?
Shoe fetishists
Shoe fetishist extraordinaire Ms Marcos
Transformers geeks
Transformers geeks
Dads Army slashfic?
Dads Army slashfic?

So, if clothes maketh the man, what maketh the geek? Well, I like big robots hitting other big robots, cartoons, comics, fashion, movies, bad movies, really bad movies, violent cross country panto and bands with the words 'Josie and the Pussycats' in the title. Well, actually, who am I kidding? Probably not you. I don't like it, I love this stuff!

I guess it hits the hardest when 'geek chic' fully penetrates popular culture and things like Family Guy's Star Wars parody Something Something Something Darkside  are made and enjoyed for what they are. Hopefully, when Brian the dog points out that Lando's wearing Han's sleeveless little black number, shirt and trousers, you'll laugh and say "Hey! That is weird!" and then get on with the rest of your life.

But your average Star Wars geek has probably already hypothesised that as maybe as an escapee from his floaty space house where he certainly left all his other possessions (along with his Gucci luggage set), Lando needed a change of trousers after having been shot at for about 20 minutes, and the walk-in wardrobe on the Millenium Falcon didn't really offer much, seeing as Solo obviously has a bit of a Bart Simpson attitude to style and all. Maybe as Lando and Han were card buddies he, at one point, literally won the shirt off of Space Omar Sharif's back and half-inched his whole style, forcing Mr. Calrissian to do the rethink to disco cape and bellbottoms. So being left with floaty silk in cold, badly maintained spaceships he thought turnaround was fair game. Maybe there's a minimum dress code for rebel scoundrels. Maybe I'm thinking about all this a little too hard...

So what am I getting at here? I think what really fuels the geek, and sets them apart, is obsession. If there's one thing we're good at now as humans, it's obsessing over things that really have very little to do with survival, which means that we're pretty much comfy at the top of the food chain. Whether you're the the lass who can tell us why she needs 37 seemingly identical pairs of strappy black shoes or the guy who can remember every away score for his football team since 1982. Whether you can tell the difference between two white label pressings of the same song by ear or the reason why you'll never catch a fish in this lake with that bait, you're 'one of us'. Mild OCD is okay by me. So really we're not that different, you and I. Maybe you're already bit of a geek yourself. Maybe you'll have geekness thrust upon you. It ain't such a bad situation. We get to inherit the earth after all.

So is this column a 'better than thou' thing? Well, all gags aside now, I hope not. All I'm asking for is an amnesty of acceptance, or at least a middle ground where we get to show you what else is out there that you probably don't know about and that you really could be checking out, or at least goggling through the bars of the cage at. Hey, this almost didn't get submitted 'cause I was too busy surfing the net for info on Transformers and whether or not Dad's Army the slashfic existed. **

So step right up and catch us next time when we'll kick this off with some in-depth noodlings on specific subjects. Well... subjects specified by me, now we've got the intro round out of the way. I think you get the picture. As long as that picture is a undead dinosaur being ridden by an robot space cowboy whilst Japanese bubblegum pop version of Sussudio blasts out of it's speaker system.

See ya soon. Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel.


*More 'Of Super Heroes' than 'herd of possessed pigs', I hope.

**It doesn't. I think. I'm now kinda scared that it does and is hidden away like the Illuminati, preparing to strike pop culture with a deathly blow, or it doesn't and I've now unwillingly birthed it.


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