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The Comedy of Errors

Overheard in Notts

6 October 15 words: LeftLion
We've been earwigging on your lot's conversations because we are nosey and you are hilarious
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image: Raphael Achache

Wind your neck in you little long Pepperami. You're a bit of an animal, innit. I'm tryin' to stop this wheezin’.” - Smoking lady

I've got a feeling I'll need a poo when I get home.”

"Babe. When I die, will you make sure I'm buried with my eyelash curlers?"

You should come to Notts mate, I promise you won’t get shot.” - Lad on phone

“Matlock? You should visit the aquarium. It’s only two pound and the animals are definitely sad.”

Bloke: What do you mean you can't understand me?! I'm Irish. IRISH!
Muffled reply from man inside house.
Bloke: Right! That's it. I'm going to smash your fucking head in!
Another muffled reply from man inside house.

I tried to be both [Muslim and Atheist] but my parents wouldn't let me."

"If you want to continue seeing me, you need to stop shagging my sister."

When me and Rebecca try for a baby, I won't smoke weed again. Gotta be 100% focused.”

Woman: Where are you going to pull off?
Man: I'll pull off anywhere I bloody like.

At a free doughnut stand.
Lady: Carol, what is a crispy cream?
Caz: It's one of them biscuits you used to dunk in your tea
Lady: Oh, I like them.
Caz: I'd like to see people get that excited about a custard cream stall.

"Yo, bring da bill boss... before my missus starts orderin’ cheese boards and shit yeah." - Man in curry house

"What?! Even if I was growing weed in my flat I cannot have used that much electricity!" - Man on phone

Dad: This area is called the Lace Market.
Little girl: Cool, is that where they make all the strawberry laces?

"Might take the kids to their first funeral next week."

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