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The Comedy of Errors

6 Things To Do In The Run-Up To Christmas

18 December 16 words: LeftLion

The big day is almost upon us, and here's how you can occupy yersens till then...

A Dead Good Xmas Poetry Party
Every month, JamCafe is taken over by a load of bards. Poetry is Dead Good has been going for just over a year now, with everyone from John Berkavitch, R.A Villanueva and Maria Ferguson gracing the stage. This month, though, things are about to be done a bit differently. Rules are: you have to wear a shit Christmas jumper. That’s about it. It’s only three nuggets on the door, and for that you get a full evening’s worth of literary and musical entertainment that’ll rock yer bleddy socks off. Of course, there will be the regular open mic – get your name in the hat for the lucky dip selection, but this time there’s also Poetercise: The Poetry Game Show. Hosted by Stephen Thomas, the games put local poets against each other in a world of pain and metaphor. Let them begin.
Tuesday 20 December, 7pm, £3, JamCafe

Kate Rusby
Michael Buble tends to dominate the scene around this time of the year. You can’t turn on the owd tellybox without hearing his chocolate-box vocals crooning away. Throw a spanner in the works and spice up your winter warblers with a spot of Kate Rusby at Theatre Royal. Back in the Victorian era, folk from South Yorkshire were banned from singing carols in church over Christmas time for being far too excitable, so they used to take to the pubs and sing their own versions in there. Ms Rusby has been embracing her local tradition for years, and is bringing those unique variations to the big stage – so if rowdier-than-thou Christmas carols are right up your alley, make sure you book a ticket pronto. You could even stop off at the Christmas market beforehand for a mulled wine or three to get you in the mood. We’ll meet you there.
Wednesday 21 December, 7.30pm, £25, Theatre Royal

Sheep Soup Christmas Party
The lairy lot that made a musical out of Basford’s best-loved OAP, Mrs Mabel Green, are back to warm your cockles in a pre-Christmas shindig like no other. They’ll be screening their first ever short film, Commando, starring In The Flesh actress, Harriet Cains, and performing some of the most hilarious sketches from their most recent Edinburgh jaunt, The Invention of Acting. Sound decent? There’s more. They’ve pulled in a few favours from their friends and collaborators, so the likes of Rob Green, Felix M-B and spoken word maestro Ben Norris will be performing for your viewing pleasure. Expect Mrs Green and The Rizlas to bash out a couple of classics from the musical, and the Sheep Soup crew will treat you to a few sneaky preview songs from their new musical, The Leftovers. On top of all that, Trev Cole from D.I.D will be bashing out a couple tunes on his sexy sax. Ooft, worra corker.
Wednesday 21 December, free, Annie’s Burger Shack Tavern

Christmas Party Night
By now you lot must be absolutely partied out. You’ve shown your face at the obligatory office party and handed your less-than-special secret Santa present to Sandra from accounts who thoroughly hated it and her face told you so. Throw all cares out the window, and get stuck into one last shindig before the big day with Glee Club, who are hosting one of the jokest festive fests about town. Catch the likes of Jen Brister, Andy Robinson, Paul McCaffrey and Charlie Baker making a whole heap of funnies on the night, and you can fork out a couple extra quid to feast on a three course meal while you giggle. Sound like a bit of you? Yeah, us too. We’ll see you there.
Friday 23 December, 6.45pm/8.15pm, £12 - £30.90, Glee Club

Christmas Eve Singalong
Sometimes, you just don’t quite catch the Christmas bug. You may have rocked around the Christmas tree more times than you care to remember, and decked the halls with so many boughs of holly that you can’t walk to the loo without sustaining serious injury, and still the big day creeps up on you with little to no effect on your festive cheer. Sort that out good and proper this year with a rip roaring Crimbo sing-song down the Southbank city bar. Just Ben will be fronting the Christmas revolution, so round up a couple of your Scroogiest pals and get on down.
Saturday 24 December, 3pm, free, Southbank

Christmas Day
The morning starts off decent, you get a new Lego set, some pants and socks, chocolate and booze for breakfast - all seems sound as a pound. Then come the rows over the last dregs of gravy, Queen Liz nattering on, the mardy, shift-working uncle who falls asleep in his stuffing and your pissed-up nan whacking The Pogues on repeat. If your head isn’t pounding by this point, someone suggests a game of charades – which actually turns out to be a right laugh and you remember why you were looking forward to Christmas after all. Don’t burn the turkeh!
Sunday 25 December, all day, it's cost a bleddy fortune and you're well into your overdraft, Nan's yard

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