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Green Light in the City

Overheard in Notts

2 December 16 words: LeftLion

Don't forget to bag yourself an Overheard in Notts tea towel this Christmas duckeh

Woman: We need to decide the destination for our first alcoholic libation.
Bloke: I love getting pissed with you, you make it sound dead posh.

“One customer goes ‘Coke with an ice cream innit’ so I asked ‘Coke with an ice cream in it?’ He confirmed it, so that’s what he got served.”

“It’s one of them bars that don't look like a bar. You have to kick the door down to get inside.”

“I’m not even dressed for carnival, I’m in a mini skirt and a thong. If I bend over, my life’s over!”

“It was nice. To be honest though, there was a bit too much nakedness for the church.”

“The more self-help guides I read, the more I wish I was dead.”

“Mate, you was speakin’ in foreign and that is disrespectful to meh!”

“If I were Donald Trump I’d build a wall around YOU.”

“True love, that. Either that, or ket.”

“Oh my God Janet, no. You're meant to put peroxide on before the actual colour.”

“If all goes well tomorrow and I don’t get charged, we’re havin’ a fat BBQ.”

Bloke 1: God, what’s that smell?!
Bloke 2: Arnold, mate.

Mam: Your dog’s just been hit by a car and you’re more worried about playing Pokemon Go!?
Kid: I haven’t played it all week!

Kid: Rain rain, go away, come again another day.
Mam: Innit though. F*** off rain.

“He showed me this picture on his phone of him getting a blow job off this girl and he looked proper gay.”

“Is there any way of getting this drink inside of me without drinking it?”

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Overheard in Notts: The Tea Towel

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