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TRCH - Caitlin Moran

The Thompson Brothers on Donald Trump

2 December 16 words: LeftLion

Nottingham's most opinionated grocers on...

Donald Trump
Can people object to him being there? Is there any chance of a recount? We assume not. Ah well. It’s not the first time we’ve had a celebrity president. Old Ronald Reagan was a has-been actor who made films with monkeys before they elected him.

Nottingham Castle Gets £13million Lottery Funding
The first thing they need to do is improve the toilets. They’re so hard to find in there. If they can spend at least half a million sorting those out we’ll be happy. They should make Mortimer’s Hole deeper, too.

We don’t buy anything for each other. I’ve always wanted a set of drums. He’s always wanted an Aston Martin DB9. We’ve never got each other either. We always said to our parents that we’d like a Jaguar F-Type in red and a box of handkerchiefs. They always got us handkerchiefs. On Christmas day we go to church, and we always watch the Queen at 3pm.

Spirit of Sherwood
We’ve just won the top award for the best retailer in Sherwood at the Spirit of Sherwood awards. You can see it on Facebook – we won it outright. If we’re the best, then God help the worst…

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