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The Comedy of Errors

Overheard in Notts

1 November 16 words: Overheard in Notts

The latest claptrap your lot have been blabbering on with...

“What’s Trump been up to today? Has he raped anyone yet?”

Girl 1: Converse joggers? How can you get Converse joggers?
Girl 2: From shop.

“I'm just sayin', you can still be a psychopath and not kill people.”

“Ohhh, I've never seen a car cut in half before.”

“Do you know what I'm sick of? Buying stuff because the Kardashian's sponsor it. It takes all my money.”

“What animals do grapes come from?”

“You’re only a pervert if you like kids and animals.”

"I get home and I have a cup of tea and an argument.”

“And the place I grew up in is now a prime location for dogging.”

Woman: Are you looking forward to your holiday in Majorca?
Man: No, not really
Woman: Why not?
Man: I'm worried about jet lag.

“Moles are bulletproof.”

Young girl: I’d like to work in an office when I’m older.
Mum: Like an accountant?
Young girl: Yeah, that. Or a police officer. Or Tottenham’s goalkeeper.

“Jimmy Carr. Everytime I see him, he looks more like a dystopian dictator.”

“Peach Fanta though, innit. Peach Fanta. Insane though!”

“Till last year I thought LA and New York were the same place.”

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