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What Notts: The City's Latest News

1 November 16 words: What Notts

illustration: Rikki Marr

FLAMING IDIOTS
A specialised minibus used to transport elderly and disabled people was set alight not once, but twice, in the space of two days. Luckily no-one was inside. The Kirkby-in-Ashfield charity, Our Centre, ordinarily provides transport to hospital appointments and community events, but now the £20,000 damage has been done. Both attacks happened on Ashwood Avenue at 12.30pm on Wednesday 12 October, and 11.30pm on Thursday 13 October. Give 101 a bell if you saw owt.

BAZZA’S BAD DAY
After having his tyres slashed by some random, a Hucknall bloke decided to move his car to a safer spot 100m up the road. Clocked by some coppers as he swerved all over the shop, they breathalysed him. Bit harsh at first glance, but being found to be over the limit, our sympathy vanished. He’s got to do forty hours of community service and pay for prosecution costs. And a new set of tyres. Stinger.

BOB-BOMB
Once again, the shopping centre was evacuated on a busy Saturday thanks to some sausage leaving a suspect package lying around. The Viccy Centre apartment residents were particularly peeved, as most of them found out about the hoo-ha via social media rather than the authorities. Loads of shops and restaurants lost out on a ton of cash money, too. Will someone tell our Barbara to stop leaving her bag of humbugs all over the place, please?

MAN CHARGED WITH RAPE
Rape incidents around Forest Recreation Ground have been an issue for a number of years and it makes us sick to the stomach to hear the same stories emerging time and again. Thankfully, a man has been charged for one of the most recent cases. 28-year-old Nasser Aldin Mohammed Daoud Ahmed was remanded to appear at Nottingham Magistrates’ Court earlier in October, but Nottinghamshire Police still urge people to come forward with information regarding the case by calling 101.

DAMNED STRAIGHT
Remember those anti-begging posters everyone was kicking off about? Turns out it wasn’t for nowt, as the Advertising Standards Authority have officially banned them following the complaints. The advertising campaign, ran by Nottingham City Council and Nottinghamshire Police, read messages such as ‘Begging: watch your money go to a fraud’ and the ASA have declared four out of five adverts as offensive, claiming the adverts reinforce negative stereotypes about homeless people and imply that they are ‘disingenuous and undeserving.’

TOUGH FEES FOR ROUGH SLEEPERS
Get your backwards-logic-protective glasses on, Rushcliffe Borough Council are at it again. The Conservative council say rough sleepers have been ‘causing a nuisance’ in West Bridgford and have therefore decided to start dishing out £100 fines which, if ignored, could lead up to a £1000 fine. Good one. Charging people with no money loads of money. That’ll sort the issue out. They’re not sleeping on the street for a laugh, Ken.

FRAMEWORK FUNDRAISER SHUTDOWN
Homelessness charity Framework’s annual Big Sleep Out fundraiser sees folk sponsored to sleep in cardboard boxes on the street in solidarity with the homeless community, raising tons of cash and awareness. This year, organisers have been forced to cancel the event due to harassment threats from protesters who claim Framework’s event is hypocritical, despite it raising over £30,000 annually for their projects. Sense made? None. People are now invited to consider donating directly, and holding their own ‘sleep-in’ at home in the garden.

SNAIL TRAIL
Lonely ‘lefty’ snail seeking mate. Must have GSOH, VGL and be a sinistral. We’re on the hunt to find Jeremy – the snail with an anti-clockwise shell – a compatible mate so he can live out his days in the throes of passion and make a bunch of babies. Pop into your garden and have a good old nosy at the shell dwellings of your snail mates, and if they match Jezza’s lonely hearts add, tweet a picture using the hashtag #snaillove. In the name of love.

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