"City councils were the worst thing to happen to this country. One central, dominant power; that's what we need."
“We're keeping that crazy alphabetical-order vibe going on.”
“I'm terribly sorry, but someone has just been sick down my back.”
Man 1: Everyday's a learning day, mate.
Man 2: I think the phrase is everyday's a school day, mate.
“I've got a Sleaford Mods carrier bag. I'm going to use it when I go to Waitrose.”
"Nobody's ever moved to Kirkby on purpose."
“My husband always likes it round the back and he really goes for it. He always sleeps well after that.”
"She’s got a new catlet… Catlet?" (confused pause) "I meant kitten."
Man: Them Gü puddings you like are only a quid in Sainsbury’s.
Woman: You’d pay that just for the pot it comes in.
Lad 1: I beg we get a kebab
Lad 2: No.
“What’s that place at the top of Hockley? The one next to Dotty Bread?”
Woman: Are they your daughters?
Woman: They're stroking a dead bird, it's disgusting.
"Go rahnd Bilborough. There's just bin bags of weed everywhere."
"He's a respected midget."
"I would go and kill Trump but I've got a job and that."
“All I want is some money... Ooh, and a fairer Britain for the many not the few.”
"You can vote for the Green Party or the Labour Party or even the Leb Dims."