Overheard in Notts

"City councils were the worst thing to happen to this country. One central, dominant power; that's what we need."

“We're keeping that crazy alphabetical-order vibe going on.”

“I'm terribly sorry, but someone has just been sick down my back.”

Man 1: Everyday's a learning day, mate.
Man 2: I think the phrase is everyday's a school day, mate.

“I've got a Sleaford Mods carrier bag. I'm going to use it when I go to Waitrose.”

"Nobody's ever moved to Kirkby on purpose."

“My husband always likes it round the back and he really goes for it. He always sleeps well after that.”

"She’s got a new catlet… Catlet?" (confused pause) "I meant kitten."

Man: Them Gü puddings you like are only a quid in Sainsbury’s.
Woman: You’d pay that just for the pot it comes in.

Lad 1: I beg we get a kebab
Lad 2: No.                             

“What’s that place at the top of Hockley? The one next to Dotty Bread?”

Woman: Are they your daughters?
Man: Yes.
Woman: They're stroking a dead bird, it's disgusting.

"Go rahnd Bilborough. There's just bin bags of weed everywhere."

"He's a respected midget."

"I would go and kill Trump but I've got a job and that."

“All I want is some money... Ooh, and a fairer Britain for the many not the few.”

"You can vote for the Green Party or the Labour Party or even the Leb Dims."