Sign up for our weekly newsletter
The Comedy of Errors

Overheard in Notts

4 March 17 words: LeftLion

Here's what your lot have been chuntering on about this month...

Lad: We used to go to McDonalds on lunch and see who could eat the most hamburgers.
Girl: That’s disgusting… I prefer Burger King.

“I'm not a bounty hunter, I'm a Jedi.”

Woman: So it was this art thing, right? And this woman is reading from The Bible in a proper chavvy accent on a stage. Then a bloke walks onto the stage dragging a dead swan and puts his finger up her arse.
Man: Wait. What’s this again?
Woman: Art.

“Yeah, he got confiscated from a drug dealer's house in Leeds.”

“Elliot, man, why? She's dirty. She's got the clap.”

Man: Can you do a decaf iced soya mocha?
Bartender: Erm... no.

“Listen mate, listen yeah. When we get to Lloyds, we’re VIPs.”

“I wish he would find love, really.”

Little boy: Mummy is that a... a poo?!
Mother: No it isn’t, it’s just a chocolate button. No! NO! DON’T PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH!

“My only son came out as a Scientologist.”

“All you need to do is drink loads of blackcurrant juice and you’ll just piss it out.”

“Christ, we’ve always got seven minutes… it’s always seven!”

Teen girl 1: Apparently there’s loads of boys and free booze at Sarah’s house.
Teen girl 2: Yeah. But I’ve got Frozen on DVD now.
Teen girl 1: Aww yeah. Let’s do that instead.

“So yeah, everyone in my family is called Sid. My name’s Sid, my dad's name's Sid, my sister's name’s Sid. Even my daughter’s name’s Sid.”

Woman: Ooo babe, it's V-Day next week
Man: Isn't that when loads of people died?

 

We have a favour to ask…

LeftLion is Nottingham’s meeting point for information about what’s going on in our city, from the established organisations to the grassroots. We want to keep what we do free to all to access, but increasingly we are relying on revenue from our readers to continue. Can you spare a few quid each month to support us?

Support LeftLion now