TRCH

A Toilet Attendant in Notts

2 November 17 words: Ralph Archer

We got some words from the bloke they call Rock City Sam... 

illustration: Ned Wilson

I’ve been doing it for a while now. It’s not an easy job, but the people that come in, they do take an interest in me. I love them, and they love me. When they come in, they say “Yes Sam! Yes Sam!” They shake my hand and leave. Some of them, they just come to say hello and then they go back, they don’t even go to the toilet.

It makes me happy sometimes, when I’m passing through a lot of difficulty, so I feel happy when I see something like that; it puts more encouragement in me. But, about the job, it’s not easy, and I have to endure some problems because I’m dealing with people that are drunk all the time. There’s a lot of things going on there, and you have to be good enough to handle the type of job.

When I get to work, I check all the toilet paper because I don’t want anybody to go in there to find it empty. I check the soap, and after that, I wipe all the tables, the sink, and I look around all of the toilets, pick up the cups, pick up the glasses, pick up the cans, because if it goes in, it will block it.

I’m not going to lie; before I come back, some people nick my stuff, but if I see friend, the people that I trust, I tell them to keep eyes on my stuff. When I finish, I go home, I take my bath and relax, that is it. If I want to drink, I just have one.

I’ve seen a lot of things happen, like when anybody has a little bit of an argument with someone; maybe they said hello to their girlfriend, and they follow the person to the toilet where it’s quiet. They want to beat the person, but I stop them, I don’t let that happen. I’ve rescued many people, and I’ll say “No, don’t try. If you try it, I will call the security and I will be a witness.” Before I know it, they can push someone and people rush there, but I stop them.

Some of them hate me because I don’t allow them to do whatever they like to do. They hate me because of that, but I don’t care. Some people, they want to come in with their lady. I said “No, it’s not allowed.” People have tried to pass and I said “No, I can’t do that because you can’t bring a problem to the club. You can’t buy me with money. Go out!”

I’ve known people that come to me like ‘Sam, I haven’t died, and it’s because of you.’ I say, ‘Hey, that’s why I’m here.’

There’s a lot of liquor, you know, and it’s only me. Some groups, they come in and they’re nicking my stuff. If I try to stop them – there can be three or two – they like to fight me. But I’m strong enough to tell them “No.” I’ll be stopping them, and I will call security. I’ve seen it all. People will come in with blood and I look after them, some people will come in with sick all over their body, and take off their shirt, so I clean it, make them happy.

Some people, they go to the toilet, maybe they were drunk or something like that, and they fell over in there. When they are in there for ten or fifteen minutes, and they’re not coming out, I will go there, and call the security who will come and take them out, look after them, take them to the coat room, we call the ambulance for them and they rescue them. I’ve known people that come to me like “Sam, I haven’t died, and it’s because of you.” I say, “Hey, that’s why I’m here.”

Some people come to me crying about their girlfriends. I talk to them and tell them: “You know what to do: don’t cry, don’t feel bad. Go out right now, clean your face, and just go to where about six or five ladies is, chat with them, talk to them, be happy with them, and just look at your girlfriend. She will focus on you. She can’t come to you and slap you. So when you started doing that, you can get her back.” It works. Sometimes it works.

Some people come to me and say “Sam, I don’t have girlfriend, I need a lady tonight, I need to pull.” I say “Ok, I will look for nice-smelling stuff that can last for two days.” It’s my job, I know it. I’ve attended weddings twice. They find me, if they have the chance. I have some people that still call me. I have Kevin, sweet guy, very nice guy, and his girlfriend Sarah. They’ve had baby. Until now, they’re still together, wedded. They still call me to say hello, so I see them sometimes.

When I see people that I love, my friends, who I’ve known for a long time, when they come to me, they give me hug. That’s what I’m saying; I’m really, really happy.

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