Overheard in Notts

Words: Big Baby
Friday 13 October 2017
reading time: min, words

Good god, you don't half come out with some corkers...

edb0bc7f-9169-45f7-86b4-8093f1348b76.gif

“My daughter’s 37. She’s quite beefy.”

“So I told my best friend that I fancied him, yeah, then she started giving him 50p every single day, and said she fancied him too.”

“I’m very wary of tomatoes, I am.”

“But Dave, the apocalypse needed to be discussed, that’s all am sayin’.”

“Hey pal, sorry about the other day. I was drunk.”

Man: Hello again, we should get married.
Woman: Are you loaded?
Man: No, but I’m a nice person.
Woman: I’m only interested in loaded.

“I had Fawaz on the back of my shirt.”

“We’re keeping that crazy alphabetical-order vibe going on.”

“Would you rather eat heroin or inject a bacon sandwich?”

“I'm good at verbal anyway.”

“Shut up, Ian! Stop being so stupid and have your f***ing vinegar.”

“Indigo child? Yeah she’s an indigo child. She was conceived on the night bus.”

“Wait, so... I don’t get it. Which one of you was touching her shoulder?”

Man 1: Good mornin’, blud.
Man 2: Nah, ain’t got time for that.
Man 1: You what?!
Man 2: F*** that fam, ain’t got time for no good mornings.
Man 1: Look at this beautiful weather. You spoiled my morning, blud.
Man 2: Nah allow that, I’m busy.
Man 1: Come here now so I can buss ya head.
(Man 2 runs off)

Person 1: What happened to you, mate?
Person 2: I broke my ankle playing pool.

We have a favour to ask

LeftLion is Nottingham’s meeting point for information about what’s going on in our city, from the established organisations to the grassroots. We want to keep what we do free to all to access, but increasingly we are relying on revenue from our readers to continue. Can you spare a few quid each month to support us?

Support LeftLion

Please note, we migrated all recently used accounts to the new site, but you will need to request a password reset

Sign in using

Or using your

Forgot password?

Register an account

Password must be at least 8 characters long, have 1 uppercase, 1 lowercase, 1 number and 1 special character.

Forgotten your password?

Reset your password?

Password must be at least 8 characters long, have 1 uppercase, 1 lowercase, 1 number and 1 special character.