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What Notts: The Latest News and Stories

6 October 17 words: LeftLion
illustrations: Rikki Marr

Some daft, some daring, and some down right cheeky...

QUIDS IN
There are two types of people in this world: those who play big, and those who play safe. It’s often thought that only those choose to dive in at the deep end will receive the big rewards, but one man has proven that theory entirely wrong. After placing £1 on a new side bet for three-card poker in Grosvenor Casino, David Wilkinson from Lincoln got dealt ‘em good and proper, and ended up winning the major jackpot of over £47,000.

The casino had to pay out after the croupier presented Mr Wilkinson with a royal flush of spades; that’s a ten, jack, queen, king and ace. “I felt sick at first and then overwhelmed, and of course happy. Everyone was shaking my hand and rubbing my hair and belly as a ritual for good luck” said the champ. He plans to tek his three kids to Disneyland, pay to go to his brother’s wedding in Ibiza, and buy his missus a car and a hot tub with his winnings. Well in, son.

BOOZY BURGLARY
Ocean’s Eleven types aside, them who do burglaries are hardly the sharpest tools in the shed. But these two don’t half tek the biscuit. Brothers Dion Guest and Taylor Johnson, of Bestwood, broke into an unlocked house in Cromford, and robbed cash, two laptops and car keys. To celebrate their success, Guest took a swig of beer from inside the home they just robbed, and left the bottle – and his DNA – behind. The coppers caught ‘em, and they’ve both been sentenced to jail time. Silly boggers.

TOP TREE
In Notts, we’re not averse to climbing them ladders, in everything from sport to music. This month, we’re rallying behind the Parliament Oak tree in Sherwood Forest, in its bid to be crowned the Woodland Trust’s Tree of the Year. Apparently, back in the day, King John and Edward I held informal parliaments underneath the branches of the tree during their respective reigns, and if the oak tree is successful in its campaign, it could win itsen a grand to put towards a party in its honour. Fingers and twigs crossed.

TRIPLE YOLKER
Hold the front page; there’s big news to be heard in this here city. A triple-yolk egg has been hatched by hens at a Nottingham nursery. When Kay Sullivan took chick eggs into Alderman Pounder Infant School and Nursery in Chilwell to be incubated, he had no idea they’d grow into such egg-laying prodigies. The 1-in-25 million egg was cracked last month and served with HP sauce upon two rounds of white toast, lathered with butter. Proper.

MELLOW CELLO
The Notts lad who was crowned BBC Young Musician of the Year back in 2016, Sheku Kanneh-Mason, is a dab hand when it comes to the cello. And it turns out he’s got a heart of gold on him an’ all. After discovering that funding cuts to his former school, Trinity Catholic School, might mean cello lessons for pupils would grind to a halt, the Mapperley Park lad donated £3k of money he earned from performing in concerts towards the school's music programme. How loverly.

PARIS FASHION
The Burning Man festival in Nevada is a hedonistic celebrity hot spot. This year, hotel heiress and chihuahua owner, Paris Hilton, was spotted living it up in full festival get-up – including a hat designed by Sneinton-based fashionista, Aimee Jackson. The My Little Pony-adorned hat worn by Ms Hilton has seen a rocket in attention for Ms Jackson’s company, Glittermee. Big up, lass. We love to see a local girl done good.

OH, GO FUND YERSEN
Yow lot ain’t half cheeky sometimes. Rather than popping your pennies in a piggy bank, or asking yer mam to lend you a tenner, you’ve been taking to crowdfunding websites like GoFundMe to ask the general public to dob you dollar for some right peculiar things. One of you wanted £30 to “help Jack get on the sesh” and another asked for £200 so you could buy chicken wings for ten weeks straight. Gawd, give us strength.

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Overheard in Notts 2017

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