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Overheard in the LeftLion Office

10 April 18 words: LeftLion Office

Ash Dilk’s first contribution to LeftLion was a skateboarding article for issue #6. He started working as the Sales Dude from issue #58, which is when he also started collating all the funny and weird stuff he overheard in the office. Here, he presents his top picks from over the years...

“I made a website when I was ten years old, it was mostly photos of Dannii Minogue” – Alan

“Mention LeftLion if you buy a Christmas tree from The Thompsons; you might get a discount, or you might get a jar of pickled gherkins.” – Jared

Bridie: Jared, can we get an office Barn Owl?
Jared: F*** yeah!

“My mum knew she was gonna have me on the day, so she made my dad a sandwich then went to hospital.” – Emily

“All I want is to be a millionaire. Oh, and a fairer Britain for the many not the few." – Lucy

“I used to think ice cream was loads healthier than chocolate. You know, because it's cold.” – Georgi

Raph: I don’t really like Mandarin restaurant.
Georgi: You dim sum, you lose some.

Ash: So your lunch is a halloumi, kale, coconut, pecan, chorizo, gherkin, mayonnaise, strawberry and vinegar dressing baguette?
Raph: Yes.

“I don’t want to see Noel Fielding's dutty face next to a peng Victoria sponge.” – Lucy

Ali: I don’t care about words anymore.
Raph: I don't care about words any moth either.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to troll our own social media channels.” – Jared

“If it smells like Quavers it’s gonna need more than a wash in the sink.” – Lucy

“I spilt foundation down my top so covered it up with Tippex.” – Bridie

“Basically, if it doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to me.” – Rob Howie-Smith (Landlord)

“Pastrami is like ham for one-percenters.” – Ash

Bridie: I love a good mum joke.
Alan: So does your mum.

“I’m going home to change into my buffet trousers.” – Ashwin

“I’m torn between wanting to enjoy my life and wanting to protect my trainers.” – Bridie

I don't wanna stifle your creativity, but… you're doing it all wrong.” – Lucy

“I’ve done Jake Bugg but I’ve not done Harleighblu yet.” – Alan

“We don’t have an anniversary cos we met on Tinder.” – Natalie

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