Ash Dilk’s first contribution to LeftLion was a skateboarding article for issue #6. He started working as the Sales Dude from issue #58, which is when he also started collating all the funny and weird stuff he overheard in the office. Here, he presents his top picks from over the years...
“I made a website when I was ten years old, it was mostly photos of Dannii Minogue” – Alan
“Mention LeftLion if you buy a Christmas tree from The Thompsons; you might get a discount, or you might get a jar of pickled gherkins.” – Jared
Bridie: Jared, can we get an office Barn Owl?
Jared: F*** yeah!
“My mum knew she was gonna have me on the day, so she made my dad a sandwich then went to hospital.” – Emily
“All I want is to be a millionaire. Oh, and a fairer Britain for the many not the few." – Lucy
“I used to think ice cream was loads healthier than chocolate. You know, because it's cold.” – Georgi
Raph: I don’t really like Mandarin restaurant.
Georgi: You dim sum, you lose some.
Ash: So your lunch is a halloumi, kale, coconut, pecan, chorizo, gherkin, mayonnaise, strawberry and vinegar dressing baguette?
“I don’t want to see Noel Fielding's dutty face next to a peng Victoria sponge.” – Lucy
Ali: I don’t care about words anymore.
Raph: I don't care about words any moth either.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to troll our own social media channels.” – Jared
“If it smells like Quavers it’s gonna need more than a wash in the sink.” – Lucy
“I spilt foundation down my top so covered it up with Tippex.” – Bridie
“Basically, if it doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to me.” – Rob Howie-Smith (Landlord)
“Pastrami is like ham for one-percenters.” – Ash
Bridie: I love a good mum joke.
Alan: So does your mum.
“I’m going home to change into my buffet trousers.” – Ashwin
“I’m torn between wanting to enjoy my life and wanting to protect my trainers.” – Bridie
“I don't wanna stifle your creativity, but… you're doing it all wrong.” – Lucy
“I’ve done Jake Bugg but I’ve not done Harleighblu yet.” – Alan
“We don’t have an anniversary cos we met on Tinder.” – Natalie