Ayup Duck: The Latest Nottingham News

Words: Ay Up Duck
Illustrations: Rikki Marr
Sunday 06 May 2018
reading time: min, words

Ay Up Duck has lept from the pages of our magazine, and found himsen a seat behind a news desk...

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COCKLE MAN DOWN
Our Dave has had a proper hard time of it over the past year or so. The Cockle Man – as he’s known to most boggers round here – was mugged, broke his ribs, and then found out he had cancer.

But he’s a robust bleeder, and it’s not stopped him from popping in to the city’s pubs, donning his usual white-coat-and-basket get-up, to deliver fish-based goods to local pint-sinkers.

Last month, though, our Dave had a fall and broke his hip. He’s been recovering at Queen’s Med, and Heidi Hargreaves from Dukki on St James’s Street is crowdfunding to help him get back on his feet. Dave’s got a little dog called Cassie who he’ll need help looking after, and he’ll need a bit to cover him while he’s out of action. He’s still bleddy adamant that he’ll be back on it in a few weeks though. Save us a Pepperami, Dave.

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IT GORRABIT WORDEH
Last month, Nottingham Poetry Festival took over. There were some massive names whacked on, including Holly McNish, Roger McGough, and our Young Poet Laureate Georgina Wilding. There was even a rap battle between Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham down the Fox and Grapes hosted by Poetry is Dead Good. Beltin’ stuff all round, your lot.

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ACCEPTING CHANGE
Paul Snape, one Big Issue seller down Wezzy B, has started accepting contactless payments with a little electronic card reader he got himsen off Amazon. Paul reckons he’s the second ever vendor in the UK to have made the move. In Bridgford an’ all. Good thinking, youth; them lot han’t seen a tuppence in yonks.

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PARK LIFE SAVER
Being the clarts they are, the government are axing local authority budgets like one-o, so the council have stripped back loads of services. Green spaces and parks have been hit bad and The Renewal Trust, who run St Ann’s Allotments, say we’d be boggered if it weren’t for the Heritage Lottery Fund. Where in the bob is all our money going, you toffin’ wastepieces?!

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