“Yeah but some cottages don't have cows.”
“You’re at nana’s house tomorrow. Please behave. I’ll give you money.”
“You’d be even more upset if I didn’t have a ballsack.”
“Smell it, just smell that.” – Woman shoving brochure under man’s nose
“She’s only going to that funeral to bitch about him.”
“I’ll go and watch Live Streaming Dog Autopsy.”
“Well, if she wants to get into that erotic stuff she better start stocking up on veg.”
“He thinks he’s so sick just because he’s got Air Maxs.”
“He’s got a job, if he wants to love me he can buy me something nice... he’s egotistical as well.”
Man, kindly, to his young daughter – “Brain like corned-beef.”
“Show-ers or growers.”
“How come I find physics lads so much hotter than the chemistry guys?”
“I think that’s probably my all time favourite Oasis track.” – Bloke on Papa Roach’s cover of Song 2 by Blur
“When I conceived Kayla, I wasn’t even talking to him. I hated him.”
Woman 1: Do you have a type?
Woman 2: Yeah I tend to go for those smackhead types.
“Bruce Springsteen seems like such a nice guy. If you asked him if he wanted a beer, and he was up for it, he’d be happy with a Wetherspoons.”
“My apprentice is like a lighthouse in a desert; really bright but no use to anyone.”
“Ooh, are they free coasters?”
“Left is the Goddess Temple, right’s the toilet.”
The rumours are true. The Overheard in Notts book hits shelves this month. To celebrate, we put together an extra-long edition of everyone's favourite feature...