“Don’t sit on my roulade.”
“I would try walking up hills backwards, but I'm afraid of falling over.”
Woman: What's in your faggots?
Butcher: Lung, kidney, bit of onion.
Woman: I thought they were supposed to have brains in 'em?
Butcher: No duck, that's who meks 'em.
“...and his gusset was right down here. I thought ‘Ooh God!’”
“I think I've got that attention definite disorder.”
"I'm nearly done. I need to get something for Craig, then I need a poo, then we can go home."
“Why are you saying ‘sneakers’? You are literally from Mansfield.”
"You know when one spliff turns into a bag of coke and four tinnies?"
“Do they do toilets in here?” – Man in Spoons
Kid: Can you tell me what the soup is? If I don’t like it, I’ll just have a garlic chewbacca.
Mum: Do you mean ciabatta?
"I can't believe you can be found guilty for stroking a back."
Person 1: Where is Guernsey?
Person 2: It's in the Channel Islands
Person 3: No it's not, it’s an island in its own right.
Person 1: Sorry, I was thinking of Grimsby.