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Ayup Duck: The Latest Nottingham News

2 March 19 words: Ayup Duck
illustrations: Rikki Marr

Our feathered friend has gorra thing or two to say...

WING AND A PRAYER
Folk have been stranded all over the shop after Flybmi announced it was the latest airline to pop its clogs. As well as buggering up jollies left, right and center, the collapse of the East Midlands based company has also put nearly 400 jobs ont brink.

While we might live in pretty lairy times money-wise, and running an airline int easy, the fact that those numpties were still advertising dirt-cheap flights a few hours before they went bust – knowing there was a decent chance that anyone booking them would end up out of pocket – is a bit much. Surely you gerrabit of warning with this sort of thing? The only warning passengers got was a bleeding text message tellin ‘em that all flights were canned. Come on lads, you flew these poor boggers out, now gerra move on and bring ‘em all home.

NARCOTICS SLYTHERIN
Just when you think you’ve heard it all, those wily youths banged up in HMP Nottingham have gone and pulled this crafty move. Turns out prisoners had been getting their rocks off by smoking the pages of owd Harry Potter books that had been sprayed with summit similar to the drug Spice. Pure wizardry.  

EMISSION IMPOSSIBLE
It’s easy for us owd codgers to harp on about the youth of today, but credit where it’s due an’ all that. Some young’uns from our fair city took part in the nationwide protests about climate change, taking to the Market Square with signs and whatnot. Doesn’t it mek yer hopeful for the future, ducks?

OVER THE MOON
Light Night is always a belter evening as it is, but this year we were blessed by the arrival of a tonkin’ great big moon to make it one of the best ever. The brainchild of some clever clogs named Luke Jerram, the seven metre wide installation was an exact replica of the lunar surface, craters and all. Absolute lunar-cy.

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