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Ayup Duck: The Latest Nottingham News

31 May 19 words: Ayup Duck

What's been gooin' off?

Cardboard Coppers
Just when you think you’ve heard the lot, good owd Paddy Tipping announces that he’s interested in bringing cardboard cop cars to Notts in a bid to reduce crime and slow down pesky speedsters. The Police and Crime Commissioner says that it’s been pretty successful in Turkey, but most of your lot seem less than impressed, especially if Twitter is to be believed. We do live in pretty lairy times crime-wise, so if the bobbies think that papier-mâché squad cards are the way forward, then all power to ‘em. I mean, we’ve already got cardboard coppers standing guard in Poundland, we may as well give ‘em summit to drive back to their little paper houses in.

BT: Own Phone
Ever wanted to own your very own phone box? Me neither. Any road, BT are offering your lot the chance to bag one of the iconic red landmarks for as little as a quid in a bid to find a new use for them. As if having somewhere to light a rollie in the rain wasn’t enough…

Bye Bye ‘Pies
The writing has been on the wall all bloody season, but it’s finally official: Notts County, formerly the owedest League club in the world, have dropped out of the Football League for the first time in their 157 year history. Sad faces all rahnd at Meadow Lane. Worra miserable season.

Bankers Backlash
On the off chance that anyone’s after another reason to hate the banks, HSBC have gone and put their foot in it by accidentally lobbing one of their patronising local posters meant for Newcastle in Notts’ Highbury Vale, leaving locals scratching their heads about being called “Proud Geordies”. Absolute prats.

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