“I bought some Creme Eggs, they’re in season at the moment.”
“When I say mop, you say head.”
“My mum says I can't say crackhead because it's a swear word.”
“I got a choo choo train in my belly.” – Young kid
“So does dragon glass kill the Skywalkers then?”
Man 1: Do you want sugar?
Man 2: Two please. I'm not quite sweet enough.
“Why aren't we allowed straws any more?”
“You want a fish tank? In Chesterfield? I don't know how you live your life.”
“Seen you somewhere before. Have you been in prison?”
“That was alright, I went to see the Mono Lisa and it was shit, it was only this big...” – Woman coming out of Contemporary
Lad 1: It was like that time you found out Haribo was German.
Lad 2: It’s not that I didn’t like that, it just took me by surprise.
Girl 1: Who did you go home with last night?
Girl 2: His name was Adam. I think I've slept with him before but it might have been his brother.
Man: The only pizzas I like are them cheese and marigold ones.
Woman: What? Margheritas?
Man: Them’s the bleeders.
Mum: Will you stop belting that ball?
Lad: I can't help it mum, it's me power.
"I've done 94 chickens and it's not 3 o'clock. That's not even the record.” – Woman behind deli counter
Woman: Do you want to get some ginger tea?
Man: Nah, I'm ginger enough.
"Go away, all you do is poison me and waste my time."
"Why would I want a trainee doctor fiddling around inside me? I don't even like going to a trainee hairdresser."
"Did you guys ever find like Disney characters sexually attractive? Like, Simba when he goes through puberty?"