New Matrix film announced
We don’t even know what The Matrix is. Is it something to do with photocopying? (We explain more). What else has Keanu Reeves been in then? Is that a man or a woman’s name? Are they any relation to Jim or Vic Reeves? Either way it won’t be as good as any of the Carry On… or Bond films.
Students back at the end of the month
Thank goodness! Town is completely dead without them. We need them to liven up the city centre. The locals are boring. We guess it must generate a lot of trade for the shops and bars too. Although it won’t make much difference to us as barely any of them come in here.
You have some odd themes for your magazines these days, don’t you? Well, we won a tankard in a rowing competition in 1988 on a stretch of water in Peterborough. Four of us were in the race altogether – we were in a long boat and we won the race. It’s our greatest sporting achievement ever!
Redmayne and Todd Building Redevelopment
We worked there when it was a sports shop in the late seventies. It was the one near the station that’s now Caffé Nero. We recently had a reunion meal with some of the other staff who were there too. They’re nice and everything, but all completely bonkers these days.