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Waterfront Festival

Overheard in Notts

8 December 20 words: Big Baby

What you been chatting this month?

“I've gotta gerrome to listen to the silence on the radio”

“You want a covid-free cuppa tea duck?”

“Bloody hell, don’t these masks make you deaf!”

“Daddy, daddy... I just want to lick you like a cat”

“I love beans. They are like mini potatoes”

“I thought this was going to be a nice bit of the story... now we’ve just got death lizards!”

“Daddy, why did you marry Mummy? She's the most annoying person ever”

“Next time you leave your phone at home give us a ring and we'll sort it out”

“What's the bendy thing?”

“I think they get someone to throw up on them and that's to test whether they can stick it out”

“Why you breathing in my ear like a pervert?”

“... Practise?”

“There is no way I am giving my dog a colonoscopy – there is NO way”

“You’ve never heard of a macaron? Are you insane?!”

“I couldn’t tell if that smell was dog poo or Parmesan”

“Not ugly per se, but definitely an Elephant Man-esque quality”

“I'm not gangsta enough for kimchi”

“Don't you think he runs like a Sims character?”

“What’s that Dracula’s first name?”

“Hand on heart, I honestly thought burritos were a good idea”

“In the supermarket of life, 2020 has been the middle aisle at Lidl”

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