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Lost City

Overheard in Notts

5 October 20 words: Big Baby

Big baby has heard some things, man... 

“He could eat an entire roast dinner without cutlery. It was mad”

“I might watch Cuties and eat a block of brie”

“You should stop talking out your arse, so from now on buttocks clenched”

“Don’t be so dramatic - just don’t eat the glass”

“You wouldn't want a chip shop in your house”

“Do beards count as masks anywhere?”

“I've only met one bloke who has a longer tongue than me. From Coventry. Massive”

Lad in shop: “I like to get my money's worth”
Old shopkeeper lady: “That's what your mum said when she had you”

Girl 1: “Oh! I forgot to say, I saw...:”

Girl 2: “Me tits?”

“Back in't day, kids used to go school and learn maffs n science, nowadays they just watch porno”

National Express driver taking temperatures with infrared thermometer: “I'll take from your hand rather than your head so we don't get no complaints of brain damage”

“We only had two cars at the time”

“Students are comin’ back next week and all, as if one virus wasn’t enough to deal with”

“Two hot sausage rolls on a baguette. No butter”

“The year's gone really fast and I haven't done anything, I went in Home Bargains the other day and they were getting the Christmas stuff out”

(In a pub) “What’s track and trace?”

“When picking blackberries, you have to think like a blackberry”

Mum to three-year-old kid: “I’m seriously gonna walk up to a police officer and hand you in”  

“How posh did this bus get suddenly?”

“My bumhole is never clean”

Woman: “You’re so clever”
Man: “No I’m not”
Woman: “Yeah you are, I can only speak one language and that’s Hucknall”

“You know when kids have them gooses' names?”

“Just seen a dude drop £300 in cash on his leccy key. Hottest thing I’ve seen in a while”

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