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Waterfront Festival

Overheard in Notts: The Insults

6 April 21 words: Big Baby

Seems like you lot are feeling particularly snarky of late, especially towards each other... 

“She looks like a cotton bud that's been lost down the back of the radiator”

“He's got a face like a worn pair of long johns”

“She looks like an overused ironing board”

“She looks like a burst tin of beans”

“When you go Marks and Sparks, you can taste the quality. Then you go to Aldi and you can tell it’s been made out of sawdust they’ve swept off the floor”

“They look like a couple. Like they look like you’d get them in the same Lego set”

“His teeth looked like an abandoned game of Guess Who”

“She looks like an old candle that's been left near a hot window”

“I’ve never even met him in person, but I just know that he smells like cheap aftershave and disappointed parents”

“He can’t wait for Indian restaurants to re-open so he can go and enjoy a korma and chips” 

“It’s like you and COVID are having a competition to see who can ruin my year the most”

“He was the sort of lad that would wear his school shoes at the weekend”

“Did you kiss her?”
“I’d rather kiss the business end of a bear trap”

“Sorry I didn’t realise the dress-code was paedo-chic” 

“She’s just young, dumb and full of…”
“... a burning hatred of the patriarchy”

“I’m trying very hard to ignore you but you’re just… so…LOUD”

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