"Her first word is definitely going to be ‘shart'"
Young lad 1: “Who’s that guy again?”
Young lad 2: “Freddie Mercury.”
Young lad 1: “Oh yeah… that guy off the film Bohemian Rhapsody?”
“I got a tax rebate for £500 and 5p. I told ‘em they could keep the 5p.”
“It’s one of them shops where you can’t see inside, and they sell Chupa Chups!”
“When you say stuff like that, I think being a serial killer is a good idea. People need to die.”
“He was running his gums so I told him 'SUCK YA DAD.’”
“Is this gay?” Lad one to lad two, mid-sword fight with mock-penis garlic bread sticks in the middle of Tesco.
“Do you want croissants, yes or no!?” Exasperated mother talking to screaming child on the floor in Lidl
"Her first word is definitely going to be ‘shart'"
“Generally speaking, anything above a fiver is bloody good red wine.”
Bus driver: Where you going?
Student, fumbling with money: University
Bus driver: I hope yer not studying maths.
Student: …
Bus driver: Have you ever caught a bus before?
Student, still fumbling: ...
Bus driver: Would you like some help to your seat?
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