Who's got a face like a LIDL mussel?
Father and daughter at a football game:
“You hate the black man, don’t you Daddy?”
“What? Don’t say that”
“You always say you hate the black man Daddy! The one that doesn’t have a number on his back.”
“Oh, the referee? SHE MEANS THE REFEREE!”
“I wish I could go back to school knowing what I know now”
“What do you know now?”
*Long pause* “I don’t know”
“She had three birthdays: one for her mates, one for her work people and one for all those people she doesn’t really like but had to see”
“Oh I don’t know. Just make a decision you bloody hippie” Woman on phone
"The first time I ever had a KFC was in Wolverhampton"
“…Yeah, well you ain’t fulfillin’ ma needs!!”
“Yeah, well no-one is fillin’ me!”
"And that's why, from now on, I'm in charge of the pigs in blankets"
"Is Uncle Ben real or is he like the Dolmio puppets?"
“She's got a face like a LIDL mussel”
“These trees are old fam. I bet they’re older than your Grandma”
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